Wednesday, 14 January 2015

Diabetes – My Beautiful Disaster

Diabetes – My Beautiful Disaster

There is no knowing when you hear those words spoken,
“Your body, we can’t repair, you will remain broken.”
What this would touch was a mystery to me,
They said it may disable or kill… we shall see.

The years, they slipped by and yet there was nothing,
The admissions, the warnings, they must have been bluffing.
I’m invincible you see, with a layer so strong,
You can tear it down, but I will build it up, though I know that it’s wrong.

“She won’t accept or apply or attend” they said,
“This girl, she’s too stubborn and full of neglect.”
But what clouded my thoughts were those words once spoken,
“Your body, we can’t repair, you will remain broken.”

More years, more admissions, more avoiding the concern,
Then one day it hit, it was time for my turn.
“You’ll be blind within the year” they said, as I lay on a table,
Their masked faces above me, poised with tools, I was unstable.

I drifted away, sleeping soundly as they worked,
Waking to the pain, and a weak voice that once lurked.
“You need to control this, you need to get better,”
“Don’t hold yourself back, it’s now or never.”

Alongside that voice was another much stronger,
“Don’t let them control you, you’ll be free no longer”.
Remember those words that were once spoken,
“Your body, we can’t repair, you will remain broken.”

Why try, why fight, why bring myself pain,
This life thrust upon me, I had nothing to gain.
They said it themselves, there was nothing to give
The fight it would take, would it help me to live.

The months, they passed by, I was reluctant at first,
It’s not fair, why me, why had I been cursed.
I resented my body, my thoughts and my actions,
But I needed to fight, face my fears, escape distractions.

The years they passed by, no blindness in sight,
Had I won a small battle, had I lead the fight.
The fear resides inside me, the tales spoke the truth,
I wish I’d acted sooner, before exhausting my youth.

I took a stormy journey, filled with disappointment and blows,
But on the other side of this disaster is a beauty that grows.
And so, to those words that were once spoken,
It’s my body, it’s my fight and your words… they can be broken.

Ninjabetic x 

© Ninjabetic

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